Good intentions….fell through again
My plans today were to fast and go to the gym early this morning and be back home in time to take my mom to the doctors at 9 am. I woke up at 5 and decided to lay back down for a few minutes….bad mistake. I didn’t wake up again until 8:15. There went my trip to the gym this morning. This has to be the worst time I’ve ever had trying to lose weight.
The doctor’s visit really upset me. He told mom the leukemia was in her lymph nodes. I couldn’t cry…I always have to be the strong one. (I’m crying as I’m typing this) Mom wanted to go out for breakfast. Since I usually have a hard time getting her to eat anything….I agreed. So….there went my fasting for the day.
I find myself sitting here eating dang tootsie rolls…worrying so. I have to take her to another doctor on the 24th. I’m so worried about the pain she is having in her groin area. I’m hoping they can give her something that doesnt make her sleep all the time but manages the pain. The doctor says the pain is caused by swollen lymph nodes.
I’ve got to start doing some research on this CLL leukemia. I want to know what I can do to help. I had her quit smoking when she was in the hospital the week before Christmas. Her coughing has subsided. She still wants one so bad. I’m torn as to what to do. Guess I’ll ask that oncolgy doctor on the 24th. If the doctor says ok…I’m going to let her. I had bought her 10 cartons for xmas…I’ve got them hid.
My husband is gone for 3 weeks helping his sister. I havent felt this stressed in over a year (when I retired). I just turned 55 two days ago….thinking…these golden years …they aren’t so golden.
I don’t want to leave mom alone so I’m going to have to put the gym on hold until my husband gets back.
Your folks prayers should would be appreciated.
January 11th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
Hi there..1st time reading ur blog today..prayers for u and ur mom..my grandma is battling lung cancer (she is in chemo now) n she still insists on smoking so I can understand where u r coming from with that one…also, like u I am trying to lose weight…I have already lost 70 lbs, but unlike those foolish commercials I won’t tell u it was easy or there is a miracle pill…what I have learned is this (as it relates to ur blog)
1)Fasting never works(no matter what ur good intentions)..u always end up hungrier…if u eat a larger (read HEALTHY) meal for breakfast..think lean protein (egg whites or beaters, turkey bacon or sausage), complex carbs (think whole grain like oatmeal, whole grain bread, or high fiber cereal..I personally love raisin bran and vanilla frosted mini wheats) and some fruit or a veggies (like in an omelet)..these things will fill u up and u won’t be as hungry and TEMPTED to eat less healthy things as the day goes by…I could give u some really good (read lots of flavor) recipes if ur interested
2.)Exercise is absolutely necessary (as much as I hate to admit it)..and back to the fasting..if u go to the gym and then fast all morning u r going to be twice as hungry and likely to binge on unhealthy foods because ur body’s natural tendency is to refuel what it lost and it will crave food until u give it what it wants (believe me ur body will win this battle every time)
3.As stressful and difficult as your mom’s health issues are, u aren’t doing her or u any good if u become ill as well (I say this again as someone who knows…both of my parents have battled health issues and until I faced my own perilous health concern I didn’t realize that my lifestyle was putting my own health risk)…So make time for you…that means commit to going to the gym (AND GO)or take a walk around the block or whatever u can do to make time for u
So good luck to you…I want u to know that I am pullin for you and you and ur mom r both in my prayers…Nicole