I’m doing better today. It’s surprising what a good night’s sleep can do for a person. I’ve put things into persective and realize things could be far worse. The sky was blue and the sun was shining today…..we’ve had so many cloudy gloomy days in a row..it was really bothering me. I don’t know how those people in Seattle are coping with all that. I think I’d have to buy a sun lamp.

Anyway..back to this losing weight issue. I think about the last time I lost weight, I didn’t have a computer or didn’t go to any weight loss groups. I just told myself ..it’s time…and lost over 100 pounds in 6-7 months. It was rather wacky the way I did it. I didn’t document my eating or exercise but remember eating lots and lots of green beans. I think part of my problem this time is reading so much information on here all of which says how hard it is to lose weight. I’ve got myself believing it.

I still have the new scale sitting here in the box. I’ve been afraid to get on it. I know I haven’t gained ALL my weight back because I’m still now one pant size. My husband went and bought this photo package for me for Christmas. He wants a picture of us together….I told him, “NO WAY!!” I can’t stand looking at myself. I won’t even go back to the small town I use to live in to visit anyone because the last time anyone there saw me, I was a size 10. I still own a house there andI make my husband go to cut the grass and check on it. I hate feeling like this…looking like this. I wanted to post my picture….but gawd…..I just can’t.

We went to Ireland and England this past May for vacation. My husband took lots of pictures. I went through them and took out everyone of them that had me in it. I also grabbed the ones my mom had with me in it too. I either am going to have to lose the weight or learn to accept who I am. (sighs)

So, today, I told myself I’ve got to get with it. I went to the store and bought peaches, strawberries and grapes. I made up a big container of my concoction of cucumbers, onions, celery, tomatoes, and hot peppers with a small about of low fat Italian dressing. I have an early post of 5 foods that burn fat. I’ll be using 4 out of the 5. You know that old saying 4 out of 5 ain’t bad.

Enough of my whining….I’m off to watch tv with mom…..water in hand.